At the start of the year, i want to take the time to thank all my friends and other people who have forwarded numerous chain letters to me this year. i appreciate all your kindness and concern and will now take a moment to ponder on the profound effect it has had on my life ...
i stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
i have a very low self-esteem after taking all those psychology, intelligence and love tests only to know that i am a raving lunatic with an IQ no better than a baboon with no chance in hell of any romance.
i smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
Speaking of cancer, i have stopped using medication altogether since it was brought to my attention that that dangerous drugs like D cold, Action 500 and other unpronounceable drugs that have been banned globally yet are freely available in India.
i also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then i get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda , Singapore and Tokyo.
i also stopped drinking water outside for fear that i will get sick from the rat shit and urine.
When i go to parties, i don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
i also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl who was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. The poor girl has been 7 years old since 1993 and apparently has had enough money to undergo many plastic surgeries to change her appearance.
My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland inspite of following all instruction to the letter.
Unfortunately, Orkut is not in the least bothered to delete my account inspite of me ignoring the millions of warnings saying "Orkut is deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..."
i made some hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, GaneshVandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!
NOTE: If you do not comment on this post and get at least 13 people also to do so in the next 10 seconds, a bird will shit on your head today at 10:30 p .m.!!