Oh My Gawd!!

I am not very religiously inclined but even if I was I would be hard pressed to choose one which allowed me to practice my faith without fear of some sort of harm to my personal self. Let’s do a run down of some of the major ones …

Let’s start with my ‘birth religion’ as it were – Christianity. I go to a church and keep a nervous eye on the door for a bunch of ‘pro-my, anti-your religion’ hoodlums to come in and trash the place.

As for Hinduism – the very basic fear is that I go a place of worship and immediately have a claustrophobia attack and if not that, then someone with a claustrophobia attack will trigger a stampede that will bury instead of cremate me.

If I were a Muslim, I would be in constant fear of life and limb for reasons that need not be enunciated here. For all I know, one day I will be in a mosque imploring the blessings of Allah and the next thing I know is that a bomb has sent me to him.

The worst fate of all reserved for the religion I practise now. When I proclaim my religious inclination to member of a different faith, I get a ‘what the hell is wrong with you’ quizzical stare or a ‘poor chap will go to hell’ pitiful stare or a ‘better change your view or else’ dirty stare.

My religion is popularly called Atheism but one that I like to call Humanity – something that nobody practices. Well so far, so good …

9 comments:

Sal said...

Hi Ace:
G B Shaw once said : "The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."
Cheers,
Salil

Poopsicle said...

Ace of Spades,
I am not regular at church-ing either.I can so relate to what you practise here. Hope we didn't have people going to war (on humanity) for those fictitious reasons any more. Let that be our only prayer-without sounding corny! :)

Ace of Spades said...

@salil - that's what GB shaw said. what do you say?

@poopsicle - amen!

Sal said...

@Ace:
Guess why I quoted G B Shaw and not Pope John Paul?

Ace of Spades said...

@ Sal
ok i give up. why?

THUDL said...

i think the best religion to practice these days is cricket....as the banners held proudly display "if cricket is a religion, sachin is god"......

times have never been better to practice cricketism....almighty dhoni has brought victory!

Good stuff man....i keep track of your posts...tis always a fun read!

Ace of Spades said...

@ THUDL - im all for cricketism, its THE most uniting factor in this country. and if that is what it takes, im all for it :)

and tks for straying this way so often Vivek, havent read your blog since the one about the pup. will try to keep in touch.

Shuv said...

i had once filled up my PF nomination form with 'none' written in religion...it came back..i fought to no avail..HAD to write 'hindu' in the end..thats our great 'secular democracy'.

Ace of Spades said...

hey Shuv, if you had to write something, you could have gotten innovative - Rastafarianism would have shut up the keepers of our 'secular democracy' :)